[Crush 01.0] Crush Page 15

  She finally looked up. “I want to believe you, Hunter, I really do, but you keep so many secrets from me. I know there is stuff going on you don’t want to talk about, and I’ve tried to respect that, but when you combine it with doing drugs and partying I have a hard time trusting you. I was under the impression you were trying to get away from that type of thing. Apparently I was mistaken. Then this very suggestive picture of you surfaces, showing you with someone else. She says she was with you, and the picture seems to support her, but you say nothing happened. It makes me realize—despite how I feel—I don’t really know you. Other than making some nice memories of our own, and being extremely attracted to each other physically, you’re practically a mystery.” She gave a deep sigh as if this let a huge weight off her chest and laid her head against the seat.

  I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel nervously, knowing I needed to tread carefully. I wanted to tell her everything, but I couldn’t—both for her safety and mine. Things were so royally messed up. I should’ve never gotten involved with her. I knew this, but I couldn’t seem to make myself walk away.

  “As far as Gabby goes, I can only tell you nothing happened. Honestly, the play by play went something like this—I was stoned and zoning out. I’d drifted off to sleep and was kind of dreaming or thinking of you subconsciously, and I could even feel you next to me—your hand sliding down my body. I jerked awake, and she was there. I shoved her away and told her I was with you. She said she didn’t see you around anywhere, and climbed on top of me, sliding my shirt up. I shoved her off hard enough she fell on the floor. She was mad at me, said I hurt her. Derek called her over, and she started making out with him. That’s when I left the party. I worried I was too blitzed to drive so I pulled over at the theater. I considered going in to watch a movie and let things get out of my system a little, but I was really tired—and I was afraid to see the disappointment in your eyes—so I fell asleep in the car. That’s it. You know everything. Please tell me you forgive me and we can move past this. I never meant to hurt you.”

  I waited, every nerve tense, wondering what she would say.

  “Are you going to do drugs again?” She wouldn’t look at me.

  “I’d love to tell you I’ll quit right now and walk away, but it’s not that easy.” I was so frustrated. There was no way I could make her understand why I used, or why they were so important to me.

  “It is that easy. You just do it, Hunter, and let those of us who care for you, help you through it.”

  I closed my eyes, knowing she couldn’t possibly understand what it meant to suffer through an addiction since she’d never been there. But I also didn’t miss the hidden message in her words. “Do you care for me, Cami?” I held my breath, turning to look at her. “Is that what you’re saying?”

  She sighed, holding my gaze. “Yes, and I want to do more, but you won’t let me get close enough. All I can say is I care about what I do know, despite our issues.”

  I slipped my finger under her chin and leaned over, kissing her softly on the lips. Instantly, the burn she created inside me was back. I’d never experienced anything like it before in my life. I didn’t care what I had to do to keep her—I had to find a way to have this girl.

  “I want you,” I whispered against her mouth. “I want everything I know about you now and all the possibilities of what I’ll learn about you later. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. You mean more to me than you could ever understand.”

  She was crying again, and I continued to kiss her softly, staring into her honey colored eyes, wiping away her tears with my thumbs as I went along.

  “This is happening really fast,” she said quietly. “It scares me a little.”

  I kissed her mouth lightly again. “I know. It scares me too, but does happening fast make it any less real?”

  “I guess not,” she replied in between kisses.

  I couldn’t stop touching her. “Then the real question is where do you want to go from here?”

  My lips traveled over her cheek, continuing my parade of endearments down to her neck.

  “Hunter, stop. I can’t think rationally when you’re all over me like this.” She tilted her head, giving me better access.

  I smiled against her skin. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? Admit it. You’re enjoying this as much as I am.”

  “We aren’t done talking, though. This is what always happens. We get distracted by all the physical stuff, and the things we really need to discuss get glossed over. While I love how you make me feel, I kind of hate that this always happens.”

  I stilled, my face nuzzled in the crook of her neck. I breathed in heavily, letting the light scent of her perfume overwhelm my senses for a moment. I really wished I could lose myself in this girl. I wanted to make her mine in every sense of the word, but I knew it just wasn’t possible right now. I slowly pulled away.

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “Tell me about you. I want you to trust me with whatever your secrets are, and let me help you through them. I want you to let me know all of you.” A hopeful look shone brightly in her eyes, and it was killing me—ripping me to shreds.

  “Cami . . . ,” I stroked her beautiful mouth. “I’d love nothing more than to pour out my soul to you and share what you’re asking, but I can’t right now. I still need some time.”

  Her expression fell, and it was like a knife straight to my heart. I hated hurting her. I was so tempted to throw caution to the wind and tell her, but even then I was still afraid I would lose her once she heard what I had to say. Anything I did would betray her. I was caught in a web of lies and deceit, and there was no easy way out of it.

  She looked down and her lip trembled. “Okay then. When you’re willing to trust me, I’ll be willing to give things a try. You know where to find me.” She picked up her books and reached for the door handle.

  “Cami, don’t please,” I begged her.

  “This is your choice, Hunter. You know what you need to do to change things.” She got out of the car.

  I slumped into my seat as I watched her walk toward the school. My heart felt like it was being sent through a meat grinder. Running my hands through my hair, I sighed heavily. I couldn’t blame her, really. It was totally unfair of me to ask her to go blindly into a relationship when she didn’t understand what she was getting into. I was being selfish, but I wasn’t sure what else to do.

  I hoped she didn’t think I was just going to walk away from her because of her ultimatum, though. I couldn’t tell her things, but there was no way in hell I was going to leave her alone with Clay so he could move in for the kill. I didn’t think she realized yet exactly how manipulative her precious bestie actually was, but I’d been watching him closely and it hadn’t surprise me at all that he’d managed to worm his way back into her good graces. I knew he still wanted her too—whenever we were around each other, the tension between us was bad.

  I dug my cell phone out of my pocket and speed dialed Chris. He answered on the second ring.

  “Are you okay?” his voice was full of concern.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Can you call the office and excuse me for the rest of the day? I need a break.”

  “Sure thing. I’ll tell them you aren’t feeling well.”

  “Perfect. Thanks, man.”

  “No problem.”

  I ended the call, tossed my phone in the cup holder and headed for the condo.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Cami-

  Clay and I were still huddled together on the couch searching through costumes on my computer for the upcoming Masquerade when the doorbell rang.

  “I wonder who that is?” I said, glancing toward the hallway.

  “I’ll get it,” he replied, jumping up and heading from the room. I listened for a second and could hear him talking to someone.

  “Who is it?” I called.

  “No one,” he answered back.

  “Apparently I’m no one now,” Hunter sai
d with a grumble as he entered the room, coming to sit on the other side of the couch.

  Clay stood in the entryway frowning at Hunter. “I didn’t invite him in, Cami.”

  “No, he didn’t,” Hunter said, glaring. “But it didn’t stop me from getting in here anyway, did it?” He glanced at me before picking up the remote and turning on the television.

  I had no idea what was going on. “Did you need something, Hunter?”

  “No.” He waved a noncommittal hand in the direction of Clay. “You two continue with whatever you were doing. I’ll just watch something.”

  “You don’t have a T.V. at your own house?” Clay asked, coming to sit between us. He wasn’t happy at all.

  “I have three actually,” Hunter replied.

  “And you can’t watch them there because . . .” Clay prompted.

  “Because Cami isn’t there.”

  Silence. Neither of us knew what to say, but I couldn’t help the little thrill that went through me. I was surprised to see him. I figured he would walk the other way after our talk today, but it looked like that wasn’t going to be the case.

  “Clay, what do you think about this one?” I asked, trying to redirect his attention. He was looking at Hunter like he hoped he would spontaneously combust.

  He glanced at the screen. “King Triton and a mermaid?”

  “Yeah. It’s kind of cool.”

  “Clay doesn’t have the abs to pull that off,” Hunter spoke, peering over. “You on the other hand would look fabulous as a mermaid.”

  I could feel Clay’s temperature starting to boil. “I suppose you think you’re the perfect one to pull off this costume?” he accused.

  Hunter snorted. “I wouldn’t be caught dead dressed up like that, but yeah, my abs would work.” He was staring at me with a smoldering look, and suddenly it felt hot. It should be wrong for anyone to carry so much power in one expression.

  I swallowed. “Okay, so no mer-people. How about some traditional costumes? The fancy ball gown, tuxedo, and matching masks?”

  “Let’s look,” Clay said successfully redirected again. “I like that idea.”

  We combed through several images before coming across a beautiful gold dress and mask, with an accompanying black tuxedo, gold vest, tie with accents, and matching black mask.

  “I love the mask on this costume, Clay. It reminds me of the Phantom in Point of No Return. It’s sexy.”

  Hunter shifted uncomfortably.

  “Then that’s the one. I know how much you love that musical. I’m more than happy to be your Phantom-come-to-life for the night. Maybe I’ll get you to sing for me too.”

  I laughed nervously. Boy, he was laying it on thick. “Sounds like fun.”

  “Cami and I watched that movie the other night on my bed,” Hunter piped up. “Well, I should say we tried to watch it. We kept getting . . . distracted.”

  Clay’s face colored a shade I’d never seen before.

  “Okay, then! Who wants a snack?” I snapped my laptop shut and grabbed Clay’s hand, dragging him into the kitchen, hoping to avoid an explosion.

  “On his bed?” Clay retorted, frowning.

  “Just drop it, okay? It’s none of your business.”

  “Has he tried anything with you?”

  I leaned against the counter. “No, Clay. He hasn’t done anything I haven’t wanted him to do.”

  “Oh, that makes me feel a whole lot better,” he said facetiously, rolling his eyes. “Did you have sex with him?”

  “No, and it’s none of your business.”

  “It is my business. You’re my best friend, and I need to know if something is going on.” His fists were clenched tightly at his side.

  “You’re misunderstanding the role of best friend, I think. You only need to know what I deem necessary to tell you. This is not one of those things, so quit asking.” I was starting to get angry.

  “Problems?” Hunter asked, leaning casually in the doorway.

  “Yes!” Clay and I both shouted.

  “Anything I can do to help?”

  “No, I think you’ve helped enough already. Thanks.” I took a glass from the cupboard and got a drink of water, not asking either of them if they wanted one. I didn’t care if I was being rude.

  Hunter pulled out his phone and glanced at it. “Four-thirty, Bradley. Looks like it’s time for you to head off to work if you want to make it by five.”

  “I’m highly capable of keeping track of the time by myself, thank you.”

  Hunter shrugged. “Okay. Just trying to help.” He walked through the kitchen, outside to the back patio, and stood by the pool with his hands in his pockets.

  “What is his deal?” Clay asked incredulously.

  I shook my head. “I’m not sure. I’m as surprised to see him here as you are. I kind of gave him an ultimatum today. Maybe he’s here to talk about it. I don’t know yet.”

  “I don’t want to leave you here with him.” He folded his arms over his chest.

  “You need to go to work. I’ll be fine.”

  “I can call in sick. I’ve never done it before. Jon would believe me.”

  “Clay. Go to work. That’s an order. I’ll be fine.”

  “Come with me. You can hangout, maybe catch a movie or something.”

  I laughed. “I’ll be fine. Now go. I need to talk to him. I’ll email you a link to the page so you can order your tux later.”

  He looked so disappointed. “Okay. Don’t let him bully you. If you need help, just call me.”

  “All right,” I replied, mostly to get him to leave.

  I followed him into the living room and watched as he gathered his things.

  “I’ll text you later,” he said, giving me a hug.

  “Sounds good. Bye.” I waited until I heard the door close behind him before I turned around, and found Hunter leaning against the wall watching me.

  “You should probably know I don’t like him.”

  “Really? Wow. I would’ve never guessed! Thanks for telling me.” I went over and plopped on the couch.

  “I mean it. He gives me the creeps. I don’t like it when he’s around you. Something about him is off.”

  “Hunter, he’s been my best friend for my whole life. You and I, we’ve been—whatever we are—for a very short time, even if it doesn’t seem that way. You don’t get to say who’s my friend and who’s not.”

  He came and sat next to me. “I’m not telling you who to be friends with. I’m just saying he legitimately gives me concern. He’s very possessive of you.”

  “And you aren’t?”

  “I am, but only because I care about you, and I’m concerned.”

  “Clay loves me and is concerned about me too. He’s convinced you’re going to hurt me, and he wants to put a stop to it.”

  “No, he’s convinced I’m going to steal you from him, and that’s what he’s trying to put a stop to. He honestly believes he still has a chance with you. I, on the other hand, actually do have a chance. There’s a difference.”

  “Is that so? Have you come to spill your secrets to me so we can move on with this relationship then?” I crossed my arms and bit my lip as I looked at him pointedly.

  His face clouded over, and it reminded me of brewing storm clouds. “No, I haven’t.”

  I sighed in exasperation. “Then why are you here? I thought I made myself pretty clear on things.”

  “Because I like being with you, and regardless of what you said, I still think we are great together—secrets or not. If you don’t want me as a boyfriend, that’s fine, but I’m not leaving. You can consider me your new best friend.”

  I snorted. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Not even a little.”

  “Why?”

  “I need to know you’re okay.”

  He was maddening.

  “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

  “I thought I just explained all that.” He gestured toward the door. “Hello . . . psychotic guy.”<
br />
  “Clay is not psychotic. Confused at times, maybe, but not psychotic.”

  “That’s your opinion.”

  “And it’s the right opinion.”

  “Guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.”

  “I guess so.” I was feeling extremely frustrated. I wanted to hit Hunter and then kiss it better. He was driving me insane.

  He stared at the television again. When had things become so awkward with us? Wasn’t it this time last week we were making out with each other in this very spot?

  “Did you get your class work done, or do you have homework you want to do together?” I was grasping for straws to fill the silence.

  “No, I’m good. I finished in class.”

  “So what do you want to do?”

  He stared at me pointedly, his gaze wandering slowly over me and back up again. My breathing increased as if he were actually touching me.

  “Do you really have to ask? I thought you already knew exactly what I like to do with you.”

  I swallowed thickly. “I think I need another drink. I’m so thirsty today.”

  I went into the kitchen, knowing I was running away, but he was driving my senses crazy. I wanted to forget everything I’d said and make out. I wanted him to share his secrets and be honest with me, yes, but I also just wanted to be with him. This was going to be hard.

  Filling my glass, I stood at the sink for a minute, staring out the window into the backyard. I didn’t know he’d entered the room until I felt his hands slip along my sides, leaning against the edge of the counter, trapping me there.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked, nuzzling his face against my hair.

  My racing pulse and how much I want you to kiss me, I thought with a sigh and closed my eyes for a moment to enjoy him being there. His breath filtered through my hair, sending goose bumps trailing over my skin.

  I set my water down and faced him. He was so close, his lips a hairsbreadth away, his eyes, like melted chocolate and caramel, staring with obvious desire. He didn’t close the distance though, staying a small fraction away. I held my ground, every nerve in my body screaming in protest, knowing the pleasure that waited if I gave in. I wanted to give in.